Dear Sisi,

Thank you for your question. It is never easy to disclose any personal information to someone if you fear their reaction.

Therefore, it is important that you are clear about your reasons for disclosing to your boyfriend and the reaction that you expect from him.

If you just want to make sure that you do not keep any secrets in your relationship and you do not have any expectations of his response, then you are in a stronger position to talk to him.

Most people who reject those with HIV do so out of ignorance. It is important to find out how much your partner knows about HIV before you disclose your status. If you find out that he believes in the myths and prejudices about HIV/AIDS, make sure he has accurate information. You can do so by getting pamphlets from clinics and organisations such as Khomanani and Soul City. You can call the AIDS Helpline (0800-012-322) to find out where you can find more information. You can also address some of these myths in conversations with him.

Once you feel that you are ready, you must decide how to tell him about your status. Just remember that his reaction is his responsibility. You must also know that many people who disclose get unconditional love and acceptance. Therefore, do not expect the worst, but if you do not get a positive response, remember that you are brave and that sometimes people react negatively out of their own fear.

If you feel that it is necessary, you can ask someone that you both trust to be with you when you discuss this issue.

Good luck. I am proud of you for considering taking this step. I hope that you get the love and support that you deserve.

Sis’ Lebo